I was thinking earlier that it may seem a little late to put together a Christmas shopping guide, since Christmas is on Monday, and all, but then I realized that if there’s anything this time of year is about, it’s buying a box of pine-tree-shaped air fresheners in a truck stop on Christmas Eve. No? That’s just me? Okay. Well, there are no air fresheners on this list, and I’m pretty sure you won’t be able to find these things in truck stops on Christmas Eve (but maybe!), though there are several suggestions for literature- and writing-related gifts, which you could give to the literature lover in your life, or suggest that someone look into getting for you (no shame in asking). Here we go…

— Bryson’s Dictionary of Troublesome Words: A Writer’s Guide to Getting it Right Go on and get it for youself. Think of it as your present to us. Zing!

— Friday Happy Hour: Writers and Their Booze — Writers and drinking go together like The Captain and Tenille. This handy book not only dishes on what famous writers’ favorite drinks were, it includes recipes! So you can get your drunk on in a literary way. Hallelujah and pass the scotch.

— A Thunderbirds Foldz Flat Pen? I bet you could fold it right up inside your journal and never be penless when you are struck with a flash of genius again!

— And speaking of journals, we all know that if you’re going to be a real writer, you need to spend a lot of time scribbling secretly in a Moleskine, and you are in luck, because there are a variety of them available on Amazon. Only the legendary notebook of Hemingway for you!

— Or maybe you’re not so pretentious. Etsy.com is absolutely one of my favorite places on all of the internets to look for fabulous items, because I love supporting independent do-it-yourselfers, and it is a neverending well of creativity and ideas. Maybe you’d like to check out something from the handmade books & zines category? Or blank books, perhaps? I really like this journal with coptic stitch binding. I’m a big fan of coptic stitch binding, because it will make your book lay flat no matter what. Plus, it’s pretty. Very important.

— And then there’s this: Smoking Monkey Notebook. I want it.

— Outside of the blank book realm, Etsy also offers a variety of other book things, like fabulous handmade bookmarks (here’s a beaded one and here’s one that’s stylish and fun). Or, if you aren’t sure, you can’t go wrong with a Cthulhu coloring book, right?

— I don’t really understand these, but they’re made out of marble. And they resemble great literary figures. And they have hollow bellies you can use for stashing your stash: Great Authors Pot Belly Figures.

— Do you like t-shirts, or are you one of those people who insist on going around shirtless all the time? Do you know anybody like that? I don’t either. Anyway, shirts! The pen is mightier than the sword, the monkey is finally getting around to typing Shakespeare (though I guess to wear this you’d have to be okay with the fact that the first “to” is spelled wrong — forgive him, he’s a monkey!), or, you know, keep on Tolkein. Then there’s a personal favorite shirt: writing well is the best revenge. Indeed.

— I’m not really sure why anybody would want to wear a small audio version of The DaVinci Code on a lanyard around their neck, but just in case someone does, dreams do come true.

— Audio recordings of classic short literary works? Yes, please.

— Power Bars are boring, but Nietzsche’s Will to Power Bars? Why not? Or maybe you worry about Shakespeare-breath. (Who doesn’t?) Well, the After Shakespeare Mints ought to come in handy.