Minnesota Draws the Line at Poet Laureate

Yesterday Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty vetoed the bill that would have created a state poet laureate. While the governor stated he was appreciative of the arts, he didn’t see the need to create an official poet laurate for the state. He went on to say, “this will lead to calls for similar positions. We could see requests for a state mime, interpretive dancer or potter.” If you say so.

Meanwhile in Texas, it seems fitting that the Lone Star State has selected a cowboy poet — Red Steagall — as its 2006 poet laureate.

And that concludes this week’s edition of Poet Laureate Watch 2005.

7 Responses

  1. Laureate RoundupSo, tell me,
    Laureate Roundup

    So, tell me, Thurman, aren’t you running for Poet Laureate of eBay? Or is that an apocryphal story?

    And by the way, in Texas it should be called “Poet Lariat.”

    Now, Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty has given me some ideas. Here is my list to Jeb Bush about new positions we need in Florida:

    (1) Barbecue Sauce Laureate – Whoever makes the best sauce deserves recognition. I prefer the mustard-based recipe from Jenkins BBQ but hey, this is a democracy. Bring it to a vote.

    (2) Toad Laureate – The coolest, most mystic toad of all the backwater swamp lilly pads shall have this honor bestowed upon him or her.

    (2) Southern Rock Laureate – This would automatically be Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Ronnie Van Zant and ain’t nobody can challenge for it. Keyboardist Billy Powell will keep the actual laureate belt buckle in a safe, but cannot use it for bettin’ in poker games. Even if somebody’s been cheatin’ & lyin’.

    (3) Baptist/Pentecostal Preacher Laureate – The preacher most capable of going into a psychotic state of furious syllable extending (“The Lo-rd-AH! Said to Abram-AH! Repent-AH!”) and audible gulps of air between sentences. The recipient of this award is not required to have turret’s syndrome, but they must be licensed to preach by a recognized divinity school, church denomination, or small radio station.

    (4) Homemade Mailbox Laureate – Folks around here make mailboxes out of everything. I saw a life-size concrete manatee at the edge of one lawn, standing upright, wide-open mouth filled with letters, bills, and junk mail. Some people have chains, both regular and automotive links, welded together so they stand up and support some car part which acts as the receptacle. Miss Graybill has her late husband’s artificial leg out there, sticking upside down out of the ground. You put the mail under the loose shoe-sole flap. When Mama made us kids deliver Valentine cards to the old folks…well, I’m getting off the subject of Laureates.

    (5)Fishing Story Laureate – The best fish story teller. There would actually be two of these; one for fresh water fishing and one for the deep, briny sea.

  2. Apparently eBay is much like
    Apparently eBay is much like Minnesota and doesn’t feel the need for a poet laureate. Or they don’t answer their email, one or the other. Perhaps I should become Laureate Laureate?

  3. I think someone’s still sore
    I think someone’s still sore about the Miming!

    But take heart, there are plenty of places without poet laureates. Like eBay … and Missouri.

  4. Don’t be discouraged, FC.
    Don’t be discouraged, FC. Come on down to Florida and check out one of our Laureate Packages!

  5. Oh, I heard the brimstone you
    Oh, I heard the brimstone you threw down in DC, scaring all those people.

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