Sometimes it’s fun to pick favorites out of arbitrary groupings. (No really, it is.) As such, I’ve made a list of 20 either/or statements (that are at least marginally literary), with the intention of seeing what your choices are. And that’s all you have to do — pick one thing out of each set. No need to explain your choices, just choose. In the end, I will of course take this data with me into the LitKicks Laboratory and chart it on a graph. Really. I will.
Anyway, without further ado, I present today’s lineup:
1. Libraries vs. Bookstores:
2. Pens vs. Pencils
3. Handwritten vs. Typed
4. Sticking head in oven vs. Shooting self in head
5. Ending a sentence with a preposition vs. Splitting an infinitive
6. Reading to self vs. Going to a poetry reading
7. Sonnets vs. Villanelles
8. Truth vs. Fiction
9. Poetry vs. Prose
10. Novels vs. Short Stories
11. Online vs. Print
12. The Odyssey vs. On The Road
13. Frankenstein vs. Dracula
14. Barbaric yawp vs. Howl
15. William Faulkner vs. Mark Twain
16. William Shakespeare vs. William Blake
17. Milton from Office Space vs. John Milton
18. Henry James vs. Henry David Thoreau
19. Walt Whitman vs. Grizzly Adams
20. Chuck Palahniuk vs. Irvine Welsh
22 Responses
okay …?1. bookstores2.
okay …?
1. bookstores
2. pens
3. typed
4. shooting
5. ending with a preposition (because I know what that means)
6. going to poetry reading
7. sonnets
8. fiction
9. poetry
10. novels
11. online!
12. on the road
13. frankenstein
14. howl
15. twain
16. shakespeare
17. milton from office space
18. you’re killing me! both. i can’t choose between these two.
19. walt whitman
20. chuck
my picks1. bookstores2.
my picks
1. bookstores
2. pens
3. correspondence: handwritten. everything else: typed
4. shooting
5. splitting an infinitive
6. going to a reading
7. villanelles
8. fiction
9. prose
10. short stories
11. online
12. on the road
13. frankenstein
14. howl
15. faulkner
16. blake
17. office space all the way
18. HENRY JAMES!!! (someone had to say it)
19. whitman
20. neither. tee hee.
Come on, Asher. I know you
Come on, Asher. I know you wanted to say “HENRY JAMES!!!” but it’s okay, because I did.
Where’s the Beef?1.
Where’s the Beef?
1. Libraries
2. Pencils
3. Typed
4. Sticking head in oven
5. Ending a sentence with a preposition
6. Going to a poetry reading
7. Sonnets
8. Truth
9. Poetry
10. Short Stories
11. Online
12. The Odyssey
13. Dracula
14. no
15. William Faulkner
16.
WilliamRobert Blake17. Milton
18. Henry David Thoreau
19. Grizzly Adams
20. Irvine
i wish i said
i wish i said libraries
bookstores
pens
handwritten
shooting
preposition
to self
sonnets
fiction
prose
novels
print
the odyssey
dracula
howl
faulkner
blake
john milton
thoreau
adams
neither
hardest ?: Adams/Whitman. Adams was just so damn salty!
14. noheheh good answer.
14. no
heheh good answer.
p.s. to split an infinitive
p.s. to split an infinitive is the opposite of to not split an infinitive.
easy onebookstores pencil
easy one
bookstores pencil typed
oven split self
sonnets fiction poetry
short stories print on the road
frankenstien howl twain
blake ? thoreau
whitman
welsh
I know you will find it
I know you will find it incredible that I do not worship Henry James above all, but I could not pick anyone over Thoreau. You could throw Melville and Kerouac in too, and I’d still pick Thoreau. He is, like, one of my top five people of all time. Including real people.
But, to avoid hurting Henry James’s feelings, I will pass on #18.
Sith Happens1. Bookstores:2.
Sith Happens
1. Bookstores:
2. Pens
3. Handwritten
4. Shooting self in head
5. Ending a sentence with a preposition
6. Reading to self
7. Sonnets
8. Fiction
9. Poetry
10. Novels
11. Print
12. On The Road
13. Dracula
14. Howl
15. Mark Twain
16. William Shakespeare
17. Milton from Office Space
18. Henry David Thoreau
19. Walt Whitman
20.
DratMoved to respond to
Drat
Moved to respond to this.
1) Bookstores (more up to date selections, at least in my town. Plus the bookstore owner always sneaks me info on the latest and cheap lit news)
2)pens (only use pencils for math class, which, don’t have to take anymore)
3)typed (cause I have ‘orrible hadwriting)
4) wuh?
5)I try to avoid grammar at all costs but infinitives, we used those in Spanish
6) reading to self
7) sonnets (I’m French and I don’t know what villaneles are!)
8)truth (because we end up sneaking the truth into fiction, anyway)
9)poetry
10) short stories (lately)
11)this is a trick question!
12)On the Road (because I wasn’t forced to read it in school, rather read it in spite of school)
13) Dracula (Gary Oldman version)
14) Howl (duh)
15)Mark Twain (he’s Southern and I can relate)
16) Shakespeare
17)Office Space Milton
18) Thoreau (lucky bastard)
19) Grizzly Adams (he had a cool sidekick!)
20)Welsh
answers1- bookstores2-
answers
1- bookstores
2- pencils
3- handwritten
4- sticking head in oven
5- splitting an infinitive
6- reading to self
7- ?
8- both
9- consciously, poetry
10- novels
11- print
12- both
13- dr
okay…1) Bookstores2) Pens3)
okay…
1) Bookstores
2) Pens
3) Typed
4) Shooting self in head
5) Ending with a preposition
6) Reading to self (incidentally this is the title of my first novel)
7) Villanelles
8) Truth
9) Prose
10) Novels
11) Print
12) On The Road
13) Frankenstein
14) Barbaric yap
15) Faulkner
16) Shakespeare
17) You took my stapler
18) Thoreau
19) Whitman
20) Welsh
Hmmmm…1. Bookstores (‘Cause
Hmmmm…
1. Bookstores (‘Cause I can pick up chicks the same time I pick up books)
2.Pens
3.Handwritten (something organic about it)
4.Head in oven (I can always change my mind)
5.Both and Neither
6.Both at same time
7.Sonnets – I think
8.Aren’t they the same?
9.Poetic prose
10.Novels made up of short stories
11.Print – definitely!
12.On the Road
13.Franky
14.I better put Howl or I’ll get kicked off the site
15.Samuel Clemens
16.Shakespeare
17.M-M-M-Milton from Office Space – who wouldn’t pick him?
18.Thoreau
19.Grizzly Adams – loved that theme song. Plus I have a friend whose name is Dan Haggerty believe it or not.
20. Neither
Is There A Lab Fee?1.
Is There A Lab Fee?
1. Libraries where you never return the book, so then you have to pay for it, and the library orders a new one from a bookstore.
2. Pens
3. Typed. Word processed & printed, actually.
4. Oven, but really a car exhaust is more likely to be available because a lot of ovens are not gas. All this business about doctor-assisted suicide is silly because if a person has a car, they don’t need a doctor’s help. But if you are highly impressionable or unstable, do not read this.
5. I’m just a simple butler, as Anthony Hopkins said. I’m afraid I can’t be of assistance to you on that matter.
6. Poetry reading where all ten participants are reading to themselves.
7. Neopolitan has all three.
8.
9. Prose
10. The short story is coming back in a big way. Don’t miss out on this hip trend. Billectric.
11. Print with the occasional blue underlined word, so you think you can click on it, but it’s printed, see, so you can’t! Oh, man.
12. Is that then one with the cyclops? Because I was going to say “On the Road” but…I don’t know…a cyclops…
13. Frankenstein.
14. Whatever that noise is that Boris Karloff made as Frankenstein’s Monster.
15. Frankenstein
16. Well, Blake was found not guilty of killing his wife, and he was good in Beretta.
17. “That body is not dead! I created it…with bodies I obtained from graves, from the gallows, anywhere!“
18. Henry Frankenstein
19. I vote for their unholy cloned offspring, Scootertrash, from the picture on the back of Action Poetry.
20. Fight Club was on TV last night. Chuck is a good man.
my answers1.Libraries2.
my answers
1.Libraries
2. Pens
3. Handwritten (at first, they call it writing)
4. Taking the bullet
5. end in preposition-Always!
6.Poetry reading
7.Sonnets
8. Fiction is truth
9.Poetry
10. Like both
11. Print-Still a little old fashioned
12-On The Road
13.Frankenstein
14.Howl
15.Twain
16.Shake the spear
17.Milton from Office Space
18.Thoreau
19. Whitman
20.Can’t pick chuck too popular an answer & don’t know the other guy.
That was harder than I thought, are they the right answers?
You go, FC, with the Robert
You go, FC, with the Robert Blake type answer. And what about those Pink Panther movies?
Now, there’s a man who knows
Now, there’s a man who knows what he likes.
a worthy
a worthy survey
libraries
pencils
typed
sticking head in oven
splitting an infinitive
poetry reading
sonnets
fiction that tells truth
prose
novels
print
the road
dracula
howl
twain
shakespeare
milton from office space
james
whitman
welsh
Like to amend my answer to 4.
Like to amend my answer to 4. to Alcoholism.
Either/Or: an existential
Either/Or: an existential choice
1. bookstores–the transgression of reading unbought books
2. pens–specifically fountain pens that scratch so you feel the writing
3. handwritten–for the above reason
4. shooting self in head–the boom of it
5. ending with a prepostion–who can avoid it
6. poetry reading–the dynamics of apprehension
7. sonnets–the volta and complexity
8. truth–it is stranger than fiction
9. poetry–it is stranger than prose
10. short stories–condensation
11.print–the materiality factor
12. Odyssey–know ancient greek
13. Frankenstein–more feminist
14. Faulkner–complexity
15. tie, Blake in my youth, Shakespeare in middle age
16. Howl–the best minds of my generation
17. John Milton–master of language (and the Milton of William Blake)
18. Thoreau–master of prose style and independent thinker
19.Whitman–barbaric yawlp
20. undecided
Well if we’re going to be
Well if we’re going to be Western –
1. Libraries. I haven’t worked in four years.:)
2. Pens. -need less holder.
3. Concepting: MS. Drafting: type.
4. Sticking head in oven – provided the oven’s modified to give out helium or nitrous oxide (I’m killing myself – I can afford to borrow the cash:)). – Guns’re *notoriously* tricky auto-aimed.
5. It’d vary. Whichever’d be syntactically wildest. Tho’ in the indoctrinated gut of me I hate both.
6. Self. Self self self self self:).
7. Villanelles. Just to make Shakespeare less of a critical reference.:)
8. They’re only plastically different.
9. Prose. Because I don’t trust art.
10. Novels. Because I don’t trust art.
11. Online. Even uncreative labour becomes – and necessarily! – materially subversive.
12. *The Odyssey*. It wrecked the author-function thousands of years before Foucault.
13. Dracula. Tho’ not for height.
14. Barbaric yawp. Intellectualised – *as* say Hughes – it lets fake blowup away w/ less. – Prepsychedelia. Bah.:)
15. Faulkner.
16. Blake. Because I don’t trust art.:)
17. John Milton. For the Satanism.
18. James. Because in dying he islanded Pound into becoming the great index of modernism’s fascism.
19. Huh?:)
20. I. I hate them both equally.